Searching for Answers: How do I Stop Being so Self-Centered and Give More to Others?

Every year tons of people make resolutions for the new year (including yours truly), but a University of Stanton study found that only 8 percent of those people actually achieve their goals. Wow, that’s kinda depressing! And to be honest, I want better odds.

So this year, I decided to focus on one word — “Generous.” I’ve been blessed with so many cool opportunities, but it’s really easy for me to get all wrapped up in myself (ugh, I hate admitting my self-centeredness; it’s so gross, but it’s true).

When I was in my early twenties a very wise woman, who also happened to be the coach of the Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleaders, taught me about the importance of becoming what she called a “Generous Encouraging Motivator” aka GEM. She led a group of NFL cheerleaders (think about that for a second — around 30 young women who all happen to think that they are God’s gift to the planet) how to think beyond themselves and to instead focus on blessing others.

It completely changed the team dynamic. What could’ve been a group of self-righteous, somewhat jealous, I’m-so-much-prettier-than-you-so-I-should-be-in-the-front-of-the-formation dancing beauties, turned into group of caring friends who learned how to turn their positions in the spotlight towards the crowd. To give, instead of being self-obsessed.

I want to get back to that place. I want to figure out how to be a GEM in my current life stage. I’m in my early thirties and I’m building a personal brand. And it’s a bit of an anomaly for me because it’s not like I’m fighting for human trafficking victims anymore, or going to court on behalf of domestic violence victims like I used to when I was practicing law.

I made a complete career switch. Now I’m a writer (wow, I never thought I’d call myself a writer!) and I’m a social media marketer. I make more money than I did as a lawyer. And I get paid to travel to cool places, post photos about it and write about my experiences. I’ve built an entire personal brand around travel blogging (that I’m currently trying to grow) — and I know how fortunate I am to have these opportunities.

I also know how many people wish they could do something similar — quit jobs they hate, escape the cubicle, forget the 9 to 5, work from home, travel, live in a tropical climate. Maybe you’re into food, fitness, fashion or design. Wouldn’t you love to build a personal brand and actually make money doing something you love?

I feel sort of like I live this life where I get to do all these cool things, but I’m not really helping anyone else do what they love, too. In my current life stage — where I am right this second — what can I give to people? How can I be generous? What does it mean for me to be a GEM?

I don’t have all the answers yet and I’m hoping God will give me some guidance. So I guess the answers to these questions (and more) are TBD.

Have some words of wisdom? Feel free to drop me a line in the comments below. Would love to hear your thoughts!

xoxo

Kara

Photo credit: Dylan Melcher