The Next Life Stage: Models and Bottles or Babies and Binkies?

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For most of the country, summer is coming to a close.

Long lazy pool days turn into an activity-jammed fall marathon: back-to-school shopping, sports practice, volunteer meetings and gearing up for the holidays (because for some of my friends, September is not too early to start listening to Christmas music. I might also mention that they had their kids’ Halloween costumes picked out in June).

My Facebook feed is filled with cute kids sporting toothy grins, wearing crisp new outfits and holding signs that say “1st Day of Kindergarten.” I’m getting to that point in my life where almost everyone I know from back home in Kansas has children. And many of my friends in South Florida do, too. Welcome to your thirties.

There’s a girl that I cheered with in Kansas City who got married on the exact same day that I did, and in 10 years she’s had five kids. Wow, that’s pretty darn impressive. And I should add that she is a drop-dead gorgeous dance teacher and has the cutest family ever.

If you’re trying to do the math to figure out how old I was when I got married, I’ll just tell you. I was 22.

People ask me all the time when J and I are going to start a family. I used to shrug it off and say maybe someday, but definitely not today. Now I don’t know what to think. I’m having a blast. I’m building my business. I travel quite a bit.

I have a hard enough time trying to make it as a Dog Mom. I can’t even imagine taking care of a real living and breathing mini human. That’s a big project. And it’s long term.

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Parenthood is not something to take lightly and I’ll admit that it’s a little frightening to me. Actually, the thought of being a mom scares me more than the thought of swimming with those blue and purple Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish at Crandon Park Beach on Key Biscayne.

I do wonder though: am I missing out on something else? Something bigger and more meaningful?

I know what you’re thinking…If you say something about a biological clock right about now, I’ll take this pink Starbucks Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher I’m sipping on and pour it on your head.

I don’t like talking about biological clocks.

I don’t do alarm clocks either.

And I rarely do a very good job of meeting other people’s expectations when it comes to life choices.

Otherwise I’d be living in the burbs in a four-bedroom house surrounded by a white picket fence. I’d cut my hair into a short bob, wear cherry red capri pants, throw a Coach bag over my shoulder and plug in the crockpot before dropping the kids off at school. Then I’d sit in traffic for 30 minutes in my mini van so I could show up to my cubicle for my daily torture session.

And this is when my self-righteous indignation kicks in.

Now you may have a genuine affinity for Coach purses and I’m not going to hold that against you. I’m no fashionista. And I don’t like those gaudy brown and gold Louis Vuitton totes either. It’s the principle. I’d rather carry a bag that doesn’t immediately label me as a member of a certain status level. (Confession: I’d happily eat my words and become a hypocrite for a classic black Chanel flap bag with chevron quilting. it’s about priorities, people).

And there are some major advantages to living in the burbs:

  • Cost of living is a lot less
  • You could actually own a home instead of rent a one-bedroom condo for thousands of dollars
  • People are usually more friendly
  • More neighborhood-style feel
  • Great quality of life for families
  • Schools are usually better

I get it.

But I love the city and I love the beach! I LOVE the coast. And I absolutely refuse to cut my hair or wear capris. It’s just NOT happening. Ever.

I don’t have all the answers. I just know that I’m having fun and I don’t want the fun to end. Which begs the next question: if you have kids, does that mean the fun has to end?

While you and I ponder that thought, here are some photos from a Sunday Funday at the SLS South Beach. My friend Angela Caraway-Carlton and I spent the day reveling in Miami madness.

We sipped expensive cocktails, hosted our own photo shoot, got hit on by young Air Force pilots (shhhh, don’t tell our hubbies) and watched plastic people strut around for a 50-year-old man’s birthday bash.

It was just your average South Beach afternoon filled with models and bottles.

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Photo Aug 16, 12 41 49 PM

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Back to my question…

When you have kids, does that mean the fun has to end?

xo

Kara

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4 Comments

  1. With little monkeys of my own, and being a Miami based travel blogger, I’m loving this post. I’m the first to say kids aren’t for everyone. Those little monsters will zap the energy out of you and try your patience to no end. But, I’ll also say you’re 100% missing out on bigger things too…like how you melt every time they run into your arms and say, “I love you, Mommy” or the way their little smiles add so much happiness to your sucky day or how your heart soars when they start to read & write (even if they spell “we” W-i-i) or just the bond you have that’s indescribable. But does having little ones mean fun has to end? Hell no. It just has to be a little more scheduled. But, Kara, just from watching you grow your biz, I’m guessing organization and scheduling is already part of your everyday. Spontaneous pool parties and happy hours are a thing of the past. But scheduled/reserved poolside cabana afternoons and evenings with lots of champagne aren’t. Just get a great babysitter or nanny. And maybe have them stay the night. As for the burbs? Yeah, I left the beach for a house triple the size. Mostly that’s good (kids come with stuff, lots of stuff). And you’ll never find me in red capris. But many days, I wished we stayed in our outrageous 1 bdrm on the beach with the baby even if it meant using the closet as a nursery. (No lie my NYC friend did this and the baby never complained) There’s something to be said for living down the street from the best restaurants in town. As for travel, you’ve got 5 yrs before Kindergarten when you have to worry about them missing school. And having little explorers is almost more fun that exploring yourself. Hope that helps and I didn’t lose you at “little monsters.” Now, I have to run and go pick up 500 pegs from the Battleship game that were spilled under the couch…again. Where is my nanny? Wine, pronto.

    1. Love these hilarious words of wisdom!! And this part is great: “Spontaneous pool parties and happy hours are a thing of the past. But scheduled/reserved poolside cabana afternoons and evenings with lots of champagne aren’t.” Like I said on FB, you do the mom + travel blogger gig VERY well. And it’s inspiring!

  2. Hi Kara,
    You well know by now that the fun doesn’t end with kids when you live in Miami. Haven’t you noticed them causing a late-night over-tired and over-stimulated ruckus at the favorite restaurants you are writing about? Midnight is about the time many Miamians bring their children home after including them in their happy hour gatherings. BBQs and playdates all come with the requisite wine and beer selection. Miami is also family-friendly and kids are welcome just about anywhere, even the nude beach at Haulover. That said, the hardest part about being a parent in Miami, is being a RESPONSIBLE parent in a sea of people who want you to come party with or without the little tykes.

    I personally think you and J will make amazing parents. I also think you’ll find a whole new avenue of blogging to explore. And no, the fun doesn’t end, it just shifts a little to other arenas. You meet other cool parents who don’t want to get old too fast (ehem.. like me), and you adapt. You have the BBQs and dinner parties at your house to accommodate the kids sleeping schedule, for example. As you get older, the days you are stuck at home with the kids become wonderful excuses to get a break from those endless nights out in the scene. It is a sacrifice, I’m not going to lie, but it’s much easier with your supportive partner by your side, and it’s certainly rewarding in a way that a mojito can never be. Whatever you choose to do, thanks for making us part of your life adventures!

    1. I love you, Sandy!! You’re so right — Miamians take their kids everywhere and at all hours. It’s so interesting to walk down Lincoln Road at 11:30 pm and notice all of the families milling about. It’s like people in our city have figured out how to integrate children into their lives and not the other way around. It’s fascinating to me. And you, my dear, are certainly one of the coolest parents I know. I’m taking notes. xoxo

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